quinta-feira, 29 de novembro de 2007

Can't please everyone

Ok, before you read this, be warned: this is just a newly born business owner pouring her heart.

Today I've had my first angry customer. I've chosen the word "angry" on purpose, not "unsatisfied" or "complaining" or "demanding" even. She was just angry, and what's worse is that this anger was very badly disguised in a "for your own good" attitude (maybe it would have been better if she had just been frankly rude). I've realised I'd rather lose a customer than take this kind of attitude. I suppose this limitation of mine is not very good for business, but it's good for me. I will not tolerate bitterness, and I'm not sorry.

I'm fairly new to SL, I know I can be a newbie in so many aspects, there's a whole bunch I don't know about the tools and all, but responsability has nothing to do with it and I'm responsable with my business, which means I take the consequences of my actions. Although SL is just a game for many, I take my business there very seriously. I try to be respectful at all times, with people in general, customers or not, and I consider myself a fairly kind person.
I've had customers IMing me before with questions about how to use the layers in my products. Not everyone knows how layers work and I don't mind at all taking as much time as needed to try and help clarify their doubts, with pleasure! I actually love to do that. But if you come to me with rocks in your hands, all you'll get is my withdraw. I won't debate, I'll just cut the contact.
I try, whenever I can, to put all options of layers for a single piece, so that people can mix and match. Not everyone likes it, because that means one has to think before wearing everything that's in a pack. I could put only one option of layer, no thinking, just wearing. But then you'd have limitations. My "Sheer Buttoned shirt", for instance, could only come in "jacket" layer, for it to cover you belly button, and you wouldn't be able to wear it underneth a sweater or coat. My "woolen tights" have to come in two layers, because of an SL limitation: socks only won't cover your thighs and underpants only won't cover your feet. I've put an extra layer (pants) in the packs, because one customer asked me to. So, I chose "options" over "simplicity".
My prim attachments ALWAYS come with "mod" rights, even if the layer it comes with is "no mod", so that people can adjust it for their avies (I'd have to put an infinity of prims inside a pack if I wanted it to fit all shapes with no adjustment needs whatsoever. That is just not doable, there are too many shape possibilities).
I am very open to suggestions, queries, doubts etc. I'll ever consider a refund, which most business won't. I praise every feedback I can get, but plain bitter complaint won't get a good response from me. I'm far from thinking I know everything, quite the opposite, but one thing I know: no matter what, I can't please everyone.

Here are the IM's I got on my email this afternoon: (I've changed the mane of teh person to "Ms. Bitter", so I won't expose her)

[8:46] Ms. Bitter: (Saved Thu Nov 29 13:28:12 2007) trying to figure out how to wear your clothes....hmmmm....when I place tights on....the skirt shorts dissapear, visa versa......many other problems here as well.....I will keep working at it....but for right now....very discouraged with the products there....just glad I did not hand the LM out to my freinds as of yet......:(
[8:46] Ms Bitter: (Saved Thu Nov 29 13:38:30 2007) wow.....do you realise that the plaid prim skirt has no belt as advertised on your product?.....hey...no offense...and I hope you don't minde critics to help you grow....(you are VERY new to sl).....but for now....after messing around with your clothes on me now.....I won't come back there any time soon....too bad...it all looks good on the wall....but not on you...I had to make my own tights so that they could actually stay on me when wearing the skirt....but....the skirt looks like....well..not good lets say :)......and no belt.....maybe in a year....you might be pretty good but for now....whew....not good :( sorry xx
[8:46] Ms. Bitter: (Saved Thu Nov 29 13:39:59 2007) btw....I do have a belt...it just can't be seen...:(
[8:46] Ms. Bitter: (Saved Thu Nov 29 13:52:13 2007) sorry about the critisim but.....if I do not do it...then how will you know and improve? also...you should do a simple follow up with ppl that have bought from you....ask them what do they think, whatt they REALLY think of your products....not putting you down...hopefully help you bring it up to par so that I can come back to buy....right now.....I wasted a lot of money there over the poor quality....I understand your zeal of sl.....but one can also place the cart before the proverbial horse as well...sl is fast and capricious in nature...so that you will stay there and grow...I just hope that your sl sagacity does as well...

(So I logged in and gave her refunds of all her purchases)
[8:51] Myllie Writer: Dear Ms. Bitter, I hope your refund will makke you feel less bitter. What can I say? I can't please everyone. If your so disappointed at PERSONA, please don't ever come back.
and 10 minutes later:
[9:01] Ms. Bitter: (Saved Thu Nov 29 14:57:50 2007) well Myllie....I thought you would thoroughly read my critic and not be effected by it, but grow from it.....ty for the refund.....just hate it that you can't take critisim....it is part of your growing process and learing here and in rl.....guess you can't...and because of your attitude.....don't worry I won't be back there.....I was cordial in my IM to you and tried to show you in a pic......now I must say to you grow up in sl and espicially in rl.....you have a LONG way to go in both my dear as I can clearly see....do me a favor and ban me there so that I won't make a mistake on search and forget it plz :)) you will not last long, also you are on mute now....so don't even try to respond hehe GROW UP :) xx

I wouldn't be so mean as to ban her, but since she asked so nicely, I did.

36 comentários:

Ana Boogiewoogie disse...

I hate people who are rude like that. Think they are better than you in every which way when, in reality, they are just bitter because they can't make something like you have.

Really irks me that people think that type of "critisim" is helpful, when it actually comes off really rude and not helpful.

Maegen Parvenu disse...

Wow. I don't blame you at all for your reaction. I would rather not have someone like that as a customer than take that, either. How can she seriously think what she said was said in a constructive way and was not at all hurtful or spiteful? Basically all she said was "it's bad". Then she mutes you and tells YOU to grow up? Hahaha.

Iris Seale disse...

Ewww, what an awful person. Why on earth would she think she can talk to people like that? Esp. when it's easy to see that she was the one who didn't take the time to look at the layering options. I love your style and your layers, Myllie, and I think you'll be around and successful in SL for a loooooong time.

Tenshi Vielle disse...

Wow. Myllie... *hugs* Obviously the woman doesn't know what the hell she's talking about :) As if you, as a designer, can make up for her ineptitude at using SL. That's sad.

Emme disse...

OMG wow, what a RUDE woman, was I the only one who noticed how many times she pointed out how new you were to SL? So many people (myself included) have been in SL for a long time and but not on the same particular account.

We've come a long way in SL fashion, and quite frankly if she's suppose to be some know-it-all who had to make all sorts of stuff, she should know why certain things come on certain layers. You should be glad such a moron won't be back at your store.

Myllie, I've heard nothing but WONDERFUL things about your store, and for every Ms. Bitter you have hundreds more people I'm sure who are SO happy with your products. I'm actually wearing one of your turtlenecks today :-) Keep up the great great! Sorry for the long post.

Roxie Wingtips disse...

Wow that is just rude. I am not a business owner but as a shopper I know I would never do something like that.

Do not worry about her comments hun. We will still shop with you.


Christine disse...

Well, Momma says you cannot fix stupid. She obviously had intelligence limitations. Then to top it off she surrepticiously slips mean comments between smiley faces and crap. I *loathe* that passive aggressive behavior.
*hugs* and I am sorry you had to deal with that.
-Kesseret Steeplechase (as this thing is going to post under my real name)

Roxette Wise disse...

WOW!! What an awful woman!! I hope she never comes near my place!!! I think you were wonderful giving her a refund she did not deserve!!! What a b****! (Sorry)

Myllie, you are a wonderful designer, and I believe you will go a long way with your products.


The Diva disse...

OMFG Who is this preacher and if they know SO much about creating quality products in SL why the hell do they need to shop for them, just friggin create your own!

Myllie - you are one of the sweetest people I have ever met, and before so I was greatly impressed with your work.

Gawd I hate preachy people who think it's their job to council the world.

antonia marat disse...

Oh wow. Just wow. What a little turd. Sure, constructive criticism can be good so that you learn from your mistakes, but that was plain nasty of her. what iris said; what an awful person.

Keep up the good work, Myllie!

BrokenWing disse...

Bitter didn't offer you constructive criticism. Nowhere did she suggest concrete ways to make your designs better. By the way, I've always enjoyed your designs and never had a problem with them. Obviously, bitter is too stupid to understand how to wear clothes, poor thing. You didn't deserve that sort of condescention.

Phoenix Chapman disse...

That was so not constructive criticism...that was passive aggressive nastiness.

Bleh. Good riddance.

And Myllie, smart people can figure out how to wear your clothes, so keep it up hon! You're doing great!

Anessa disse...

I can't believe that there are people in SL who think they are that important that their obnoxious passive agressive rant would be warmly received by anyone. Clearly 'Her Royal Bitterness' missed out on her morning dose of reality, a dialogue offering constructive critique should be done with you present. I admire your restraint.:)

Myllie Writer disse...

Wow, thank you guys, all of you! Your comments were really comforting and reassuring :)
Emme, you're right, I did and I do get lots of wonderful feedbacks, yours was another one of them. Ms. Bitter was just a shock to me, you know? I just had to take it off my chest. I got spoiled from good feedbacks, I guess... Living and learning. I'm sure there are a few more of Ms. Bitters out there, thank god they are a minority. I've met far more wonderful people in SL.
Thank you all, again!

Cierra Theriac disse...

Well, my goodness. I certainly hope she feels better about herself now, because I don't know what else she thought she was going to accomplish with that.

What else did she want you to do? Include detailed instructions? Pictures? I know, a diagram of exactly what piece goes where. Sheesh!

And last time I checked, several other clothing designers also offered their items on multiple layers to customers who appreciated the flexibility of the options. Ms. Expert must not shop there either.

Crap, now I sound bitter...

-Ana Lutetia- disse...

Que grande cabra!!

There are really stupid people out there. Geez... How silly!
If someone's doesn't know how to use layers, learn!

I love when designers add multiple layers to their outfits. My inventory keeps growing but I can mix and match a lot more.

Don't listen to rude people, Myllie. You are one of the sweetest persons I know and a great designer. You are quite new in SL and yet you have such amazing clothes.
Besides, there isn't a word in her speech about constructive criticism.


Sans disse...

Heh, she sounds like Delores Umbridge in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (kill them with fake kindness, bleh). Don't take her comments to heart. Your stuff is great. I was there yesterday and seriously regretting that I ran out of money too soon.

Delilah Karas disse...

I can't believe this person - she seriously has some issues, and not with you.

I've worn your clothes, all of the clothes she mentioned in fact and hmmm, I've only been here since June and yet I figured out how to wear your clothes no problem and loved everything. Layering options are so wonderful and I'm very very glad you offer them.

Please don't take this person's comments to heart because they are ludicrous, mean and just plain wrong.

Tymmerie Thorne disse...

Thank you for banning her! That way I will never have to run into her when I am in your shops buying beautiful clothes and adorable poses.

And she muted you???? OMG ROFLMAO What? Is she 7 years old? What exactly is she afraid of?

I just put together a FANTASTIC outfit with your tights (the detailing in the tight pattern is perfection). In fact, some of my very favorite pieces of clothing in SL are from your shop.

I hope the good comments you get continue to dilute the poison of her ridiculous rants.

If you are creating such lovely items despite being (Miss Bitter's words)"...VERY new to SL..." I am quite excited for what is yet to come.

caLLie cLine disse...

well, i thought a long time before deciding to post here.

while i agree the customer was rude, and i agree that we wish people weren't...

the fact is, often our customers are. it can be for a number of reasons from being new, to losing inventory, to a break up or whatever.

we've all gone off at some point in our lives on someone, (i imagine) and for me when it comes to customers...

no matter how rude or vile they are (and believe me, they have been) i firmly believe in NOT being offended, trying to hear what they are saying, and rectify the situation WITH OUT being offended.

that's the key.

everyone can agree this person was rude, and all the other stuff that makes us mad.

my experience with EVERY nasty im or note i have gotten, (except one) has ended in having the customer apologize profusely, and then tell me, "you have a customer for life"

why? i think the main reason is, i don't get offended, i TRY to empathize with them, "like... OMG, how frustrating for you!!!" and ALWAYS try to find a way to disarm them.

also, I THANK THEM FOR TELLING ME!!!! and not blogging it or gossiping or whatever, but telling me....

when people are angry, they don't listen, and defensiveness doesn't work.

so all this to say...

you NEVER know who that customer is... and i will tell you... how you respond, even in the face of nastiness will make or break the experience.

one thing i did this year with someone who pretty harshly wrote me a notecard...

was to a. apologize b. inquire more, c. make it right, and most important..

"thank you for taking the time to tell me this rather than going to everyone you know and telling them you had a bad experience with me, i take my business seriously, and so appreciate people like you who take the time to let ME know you had a problem."

well i can tell you, in this case... i gained so much from this customer who i could have written off as rude...

that wasn't my motive, however, (i will keep their name private) we are now friends, they are a RL fashion journalist who wrote 2 features on my things for RL magazines, and more that i would never have expected.

point being.

we all can be rude, all have bad days, and often a loud, mean, rude person, just wants to be heard...

it's my 2 cents, and what i try hard to abide by... because, we just don't know who's on the other side of that av, their experiences, and i believe in a merchant/customer relationship the 'merchant' need to be the one to take the high road, even when people are being totally unreasonable.

i'd rather win the "war" than a battle with an angry customer.

very very respectfully,

caLLie cLine

p.s. try to remember one thing... "act, don't react"

again this is just my opinion and i see not the same as anyone elses... and i do NOT disagree that she was rude... thanks for posting this!!!

Tuli Asturias disse...

I'm sorry you had to run into someone like this person =(
She/he lacks any sort of human decency.
So condescending and belittling.
There's a difference between that and constructive criticism where people will actually stay civilised and tell you how exactly they'd like to see things different/better and give you an opportunity to do something with that.
Is this person even a designer herself? Does she even know what she is talking about? Obviously not.
Just a childish person taking pleasure in insulting people who can do something they can't, if you ask me. Or just someone looking for freebies.
Respect to you for even answering a bullshit IM like that. I could not have done that I think.

caLLie cLine disse...

ooh i forgot one thing... since you are new, i'm sure this hit you pretty hard.

i'm gonna go check out your stuff. i dont know you, but hang in there.

i dont condone rude, condescending behavior, however it's part of business, any business.

and you do always have the right to refuse service to anyone.

i just have a different approach which i thought could be of some value to you.

all the best.


Myllie Writer disse...

I'm SO SO thankful for all these comments. I never thought I'd get that much support and sympathy. I can see how you all put yourselves in my place and I feel like I'm involved in a big caring hug. As I said to a friend in-world, I feel so compensated already. I know, in the end, this was not such a big deal. So, I had an angry customer, yeah, that sucks, so what? I'll get on with my life, of course.
Callie, I wish I could be like you and I think you're completely right (btw, are you a Libra?), but I said I was only "fairly" kind and I admit it's a limitation of mine. I could have taken this episode to learn how to deal with customers like that in a wiser manner, but instead I've learned I do have limitations and one of them is I can't put up with customers like that, even if it means she is a fashion bigshot and I'll lose a chance to something else that involves her. It's not pretty or noble, it's just how it is. If I had done like you said, at this time of my life at least, I would be now with a terrible gastritis crises or something. If you can do it, I truly admire it!
Anyway, it wasn't my intention to create a fuss out of it, my post was just a (I can't find the word in english) "desabafo", a way to try and take it out of my chest (or stomach, lol).
I really appreciate all the support. THANK YOU!!!
Now I just wish RL leaves me some time to make what I love most: to create pretty things.

Betty Barracuda disse...

Urgh. I can understand why you reacted the way you did after logging in to this spew of negativity and nastiness. She just came of as condescending, bitter and mean. Not "constructive" at all. Anyway... let's hope she learns how to approach people better if she ever wants to reach her goal of "helping people grow". :p

We all have our breaking points and you reached yours. Nothing wrong with that. It happens to all of us :)

Keep doing what you do best Myllie! And here's to happy, friendly peeps! *group hug*

Noirran disse...

Wow, she doesn't know how to get dressed or adjust prim attachments yet you are the newb? Baffling. Yes, you are way nicer than I would of been. Dealing with people like this part of business, but so is choosing not to let them get away with their behavior. For every person that comes into your shop and starts spewing venom, you can bet you have customers around them that tp out because they don't want to be around "drama". You were nice to her and gave her a refund. She didn't deserve anything else.

Tuli Asturias disse...

omg don't tell me it was a "fashion bigshot"....
That makes it worse because they of all people should know how hard it is to get started and how hurtful comments like hers are. =(

Milla Michinaga disse...

Myllie I would like to APPLAUDE you for providing layer options! There is nothing better for a shopper like me :)

This got me to thinking though, are we taking for granted that everybody understands and knows how to manage all these layers and prim attachments (that we so love)? I've also received IMs asking how to wear certain outfits from my blog (those IM's were all extremely nice and pleasant in contrast to this person) from people "old" in the game, so much so that I've started stating any complex changes in brackets in my credits section (ex. "worn on Hand", "on Jacket layer"). I can imagine that you as designers get many more of these requests.

Perhaps a tutorial is needed? Something on the very basics and something we could all point to....? Any talented tutorialists offering?

shrimp56 disse...

I don't have time to read all responses. Just remember she's the one with a problem, not you. Know who you are and then you just let ppl like this fall off of you!

Steve Hansen disse...

*hugs Myllie*

Lol Ms. Bitter thinks she knows it all, when in fact she's an idiot. Sure they say a customer is always right, but this don't apply to her. As expert as she think she seems, she shoulda checked the contents of what she's buying and know how to mess with em. Geez.

Myllie, you're sweet and I admire what you did. Sorry this had to happen to you, but guess that's part of the biz ;) just don't let it get you, stay cool! And more power.



Oiê menina :)

I just got here and saw this! I can't read all 29 comments (lol) but I have to tell you to don't bother about it! Ms. Bitter was probably in a bad day! Your clothes are awesome (I know they are, I have them all lol) and layers means options, and everyone likes options! She has to grow up, and you... well, you'll have to stay there and do more gorgeous clothes!

People don't ever should talk to creators like this... Criticism in a contrutive way is always very welcome, but bring someone down like this is just being bad!

/me hugs Myllie

luth brodie disse...

It's sad to say, but welcome to the wonderful experience of running a buisness in SL. I worked in retail back in college and even black friday paled in comparison to some of the IM's I've gotten over the years.

I'm not sure if the issue is the anonymous nature of the net, quick & direct accessibility of the actual creator or a mixture of the two. Not to mention the frustration over the large learning curve that is SL. No matter what is at fault, there is never any excuse to be that rude.

I'm sorry to have to say this, but trust me, you will get worse. The most obnoxious ones (in my opinion) will be the absurd rants that have nothing to do with your actual content. But I can totally see how passive agressive baddly desguised as creative critisim would dig the deepest. Best thing to do when you get those, really is to thank them for the comments and chalk it up fact that not everyone is going to like what you do.

For a long time SL was still mainly US based residents and during that time I'd always wake up to nasty yelling IMs about sleeping at 4am GMT (8pm SLT). Or the last trip to the States I took my IMs were capped by the time I got there with IMs telling me I'm not allowed a holiday.

My two all time favourites are:
1. About a year ago I woke up to threats of telling everyone about my "false advertising" because she bought a pose expecting it to be an animation. Eventhough you can try it before you buy it and the sign said "poses." It was one where when you play it, it does a Linden gesture of blowing a kiss. I spent a long time explaining what a pose is and typically used for plus the limitations of facial expressions. While she did get even more nasty, eventually she calmed down.

2. A couple of weeks ago I got this: "You have some nerve, stealing the exact tattoos of a very famous model and using it for your own purposes. I was thinking about buying some of your items, but I don't deal with theives." I'd understand that one a lot more if I had made it and/or selling it.

Personally, I'd second what Callie's advice. Nothing good will come out of throwing gas into the fire. With a good portion of sales being from return customers and the best advertising is still by word of mouth, the best option will always be to take the high road.

What does really help for me though is to write a reply with the nastiest response I can think of and then don't send it. For the really bad ones, I have to write it out a couple of times :P


Myllie Writer disse...

Well, Milla, a simple tutorial on layers is not a bad idea, I might do that! :) Just need to take some pics to ilustrate.
Once again, I want to thank everyone for posting comments here. I know a few of you in-world, some are dear friends, some of you were new to me and some I know from their works, blogs, etc. I hope we can get in touch in-world. If I don't write, please feel free to Im me anytime, I'd love that! Every piece of your experiences is very valuable to me, thank you so much for sharing, I really really apreciated it. But for now, I will be closing the comments on this post. I hope you understand, I don't want to be "that girl who cried over an angry customer", lol. Let's turn the page and let's hope for next time this experience will have made me wiser and tougher. I'm sure it will.
Please, feel "huged" and "thanked", all of you.

Myllie Writer disse...
Este comentário foi removido pelo autor.
caLLie cLine disse...

it's funny cuz after reading luths post i remembered a really really really nasty mean horrible customer who accused me of making a photo of my ad look like i had "hand drawn" the texture when she put it on, it looked not hand drawn.

and i remember thinking, huh??? so i asked does it look like the photo? cuz it is, and she said yes, but in the photo it made me "think" it was hand drawn but now that i have it on i see it's not...

so i was like, so you mean they look alike??? but somehow the ad made you 'think' it was a hand drawn fabric? and she said "yes"

she said, 'you decieved me cuz you probaby did some subliminal things to your ad to make me think it was hand painted!" and i was like "OMG" (to myself)

and i was like, "ok i see youre not happy adn i would like you to be so let me refund you ok?"

"NO, i don't want anything coming from you, you play tricks!!!"

i was like... OMG... ok, this one i will not win...

and i said ok, is there anything i can do for you???

'yes, please log off sl now, so i can start over with your vibes off my account"

i was like, "ok, shall i am you when iget back on so you know i did?"

"NO!!!' then your vibes will be on my account.

so i just chuckled and said, "ok, ill logg off now..."

"thank you so much!!!" she said..

now... the question is... did i???


that was not really a mean person, but more of a few screws lose perhaps?

ok that's all.


Myllie Writer disse...

kkkk! You guys got me LMAO!

Liane disse...

Nossa Millie nao sabia que era brazuca!! Tenho um monte de coisa da sua loja e agora vou virar freguesa.
And i am a bit like you and indeed i admire Callie that can eat all that s...without a gastrit, her clothes are wonderfull too and her store great.
Vou tentar falar com você no jogo!! Continue seu lindo trabalho bjus.